I was working in the lab late one night
We'd just got rid of Craig Scheidt
A monster from his slab rose up
And said 'We're gonnae win the cup'
He did the slosh
The Kirkcaldy slosh
Kirkcaldy slosh
You don't need to wash
Kirkcaldy slosh
You don't have to be posh
Kirkcaldy slosh
Do the Kirkcaldy slosh
From my laboratory in Links Street
To the prom where the boy racers meet
I got the body parts I need
From Rejects in St Clair Street
And did the slosh
The Kirkcaldy slosh
Kirkcaldy slosh
You don't need to wash
Kirkcaldy slosh
You don't have to be posh
Kirkcaldy slosh
Do the Kirkcaldy slosh
The zombies like to get their fun
Along with Dracula and wolfman
Jekyll and formaldehyde are done
Now they sniff linoleum
The boy in the train said 'What's that stench?
Like a mixture of plasticine and Starks Park gents
There's a bunch of undead zombies looking like they're on probation
Oh, that's right we're coming intae Kirkcaldy station"
Do the slosh
The Kirkcaldy slosh
Kirkcaldy slosh
You don't need to wash
Kirkcaldy slosh
You don't have to be posh
Kirkcaldy slosh
Do the Kirkcaldy slosh
Do the slosh
The Kirkcaldy slosh
Kirkcaldy slosh
You don't need to wash
Kirkcaldy slosh
You don't have to be posh
Kirkcaldy slosh
Do the Kirkcaldy slosh